Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Quicker Picker Upper

How many of us have done this before?

I frequently find myself picking up others' discarded trash in order to dispose of it properly. Lazy assholes can't be bothered to do it themselves, so I'll do it for them, and silently direct invectives in their general (unknown) direction as I place the object in the correct receptacle.

Aside from picking up blatant asshole-deposited trash, how many of us have returned from a run carrying something more useful which we found lying on the road? I have come home with a wool U of M hat and a colorful tote bag.

The smorgasbord of clothing left behind at the start of major cool-weather races is a serious temptation, as are the innumerable hats, gloves, arm warmers and the like scattered on the road in the early miles of a race, but I do my best to refrain from picking up anything because I probably won't want to carry it for the next 24 miles.


Junk said...

I am consistently made fun of by my family for collecting junk during my morning runs. This includes busted cell phones, cables and wires of various sorts, nuts and bolts, sockets from socket wrenches and other tools, etc. Sigh. It's a burden I must carry (no pun intended) but I'm glad that I have company in that you do it too. Oh, and when I find money then it's my turn to smirk.

Jaime Runs said...

I pick up other people's dog's poop in my apartment complex because I'm positive I WILL end up stepping in it! It makes me so mad and it's grosser to pick up someone else's dog's poo than your own! Of course, this isn't done while running...just a sidebar :)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

When the Rooskies (or whoever the Evil Empire du Jour is) drop the Big One on us, you'll have a leg up on the rest of the survivors in the post-apocalyptic era because you'll already be well-versed in scavenging.

And I know you'll survive because - Pffttt! - who'd bother dropping a bomb on pre-ravaged Michigan? They'd be all, "Hold off! Someone already beat us to it! Let's just hit Canada instead. Awwww, look! They're so polite! See? The entire population is standing in formation to spell out WELCOME, MERCHANTS OF DEATH. How could we notbomb them?"

Viper said...

I never pick up running gear on the side of running ways. I'm the type of person who will drop something and come back to pick it up, so I assume others are too.

Morgan said...

I've awarded you... check the blog for deets slacker mcslackerson.

Anonymous said...

Tootsie, schmootsie. Hamstrings are important. Respect the hammies. And also:
Come visit me.