As the Dude once said, "New shit has come to light!"1
No, I didn't kidnap myself.
It has come to my attention that my personal record from Sunday's 5K may be tainted. Remember how I was perplexed over the large discrepancy between my Garmy time and my chip time? Well, it appears that the gap may be due to faulty timing equipment, and the fault is not in my favor.
As a good friend is fond of saying, le sigh.
My commitment to my sport is such that I cannot perpetuate a lie. I have integrity, people! Thus, I have to officially flag my 22:30 as a highly suspect and most likely inaccurate time (sob). I shall append it with an asterisk, and continue to call 22:44 my 5K PR.
1: The Dude also said, "Careful, man! There's a beverage here!" In his case, it was the ubiquitous White Russian; in my case, it's a Founder's Breakfast Stout.
(Thanks to Emma for confirming my gut instinct, that it was indeed not "fuck, man, there's a beverage here," but "careful, man, there's a beverage here.")